Sputnik Sweetheart

“Sumire has disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Like smoke, ” Miu said. She took a sip of wine.

She continued. ” It’s a long story, so i think i’d better start at the beginning and tell it in the right order. Otherwise some of the nuances might not come through. The story itself is quite subtle. But let’s eat first. It’s not like each second counts right now and it’s hard to think straight if you’re hungry. Also, It’s a bit noisy to talk here”

That’s my start point of the project. The word “disappear” was so meaningful to me. All my life, i’ve been through many disappearances. The book has just brought me back to the personal memory, when the people i admired suddenly disappeared just because they have to go to study abroad. Or just because they are so busy working, or..chatting with someone else who knows?!?!?! Feeling like talking alone. Feeling vunerable. Scared of saying something more. Afraid of their boredom to me. So i decided not to talk to those for a while.. I want to disappear as well.

Sometimes, i just want to be alone, then i turn off my phone, deactivate my facebook, and disappear. I just want to be alone, enjoy the loneliness, creating the my entire world.

In the fiction, Sumire disappeared, to me because she wants the getting that moment with Miu becomes forever. And maybe, she thought her tragedy love story will be ended up in a happy ending way when she disappeared.

May be she disappeared because she’s scared of herself being such a women, but loving another women?

May be she disappeared because she wants to find a silence place to write the memory down, make it become books. …

=> The disappearance is a silence, is a hesitation, is a hope, is a new world.

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